fyzah.love

2012-02-06T20:27:00.002+08:00

Hi.

Yes you guess it right! I was at the beach. Love it! Totally. Every moment of it.

You. Sun. Sand. Sea. Me.

Wish life was easier. I wish that everytg will get better over time. I'm not ready to be separated from you yet. But mm you wont undrstnd me. Cos after all, everyone leaves. Nothing left except memories shared.

xoxo

2012-01-31T13:11:00.002+08:00

Mmm OB module today. And i"m done w/ ppt. Fvck yeah!

Happy 20th to my dearest Sister. Eventho we argue about almost everything in the world, I still love you. Hope you have a bless year ahead of you. I wish you happiness all around. xx

Sentosa this wkend. Mmm blue bikini. Yumzx.

2012-01-30T22:13:00.002+08:00

Back for another post. Feeling so down. A different night. But same old shitty feeling. Hmm why the fcuk do i feel this way? I don't know what the fcuk is wrong with me. But I've been giving attitudes to everyone. That is so unlike me. Maybe it's the stress that is taking a toll on me.

Maybe it's just me. I'm not good enough for you. Not only you but anyone. I'm not good enough for anyone. Im not smart, pretty, caring, sweet etc enough for you. You deserve someone better. Maybe I deserve this. I deserve all this mfcuking bullshit that is happening to me right now. Yes i think I really do.

2012-01-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

K finally back on blogger. Couldn't find anywhere else that could help me vent out all the unhappiness I'm feeling. So much have change since graduating from Northland Secondary School. But mostly, it's just me that have change a lot. I don't deny it. Cos it's true.

Im feeling low tonight. I dont know. Maybe i over think too much. I worry too much. Mmm.

I do have my concerns

2011-10-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

I can't help but cry after I saw the video of that 2years old boy being run over by not one but two vans. Actaully there have been videos/stories circulating facebook about human and animal cruelty. Why are this human so heartless? I mean what had gone so wrong in your life that you had to inflict pain and hurt to another human being or animal?

What goes around comes around. May you get what you deserve.

xoxo

2011-06-30T09:22:00.000+08:00

Random post again.

Fucking hungry nao. How now cash cow? Fcuking cock-nitive module now.

Need.To.Get.Out.

Miss my four wonder girls. But it's okay lah. Heading towards different direction. Ol the best to the five of us. Love your girls forever. Muah.

2011-05-28T21:32:00.000+08:00

27.05.2011 @ ECP

Haha one of the best nights, i must say. We kept laughing and laughing and joking and joking about every single thing. Love you girls alottttttt muah

xx

2011-05-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Alright I'm back with one of my random posts again. I have so much stories to tell but I dont think I'm able to elaborate on them. Haha, life is awesome nao. Yes, Poly life is not that easy but still its been really awesome. The new friends I make is awesome. But not forgetting my other friends. I'm not like 'someone'. Ada kawan baru lupa kawan lama. Haissss sometimes people think they're all that. Just because you find some dicks, youre not having a life. Running after a dick is no more than a prostitue.

I need lotsa money for alot of things. This week only going to watch movie, sheesha and all. This definetely is a sign to find a new job right. Hopefully I'll get that Retail job. Hahaha.

Okay loving my Family friends and my bf, Shydan <3

xo

2011-05-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

Been wearing slackish clothes to school. I thought Poly life will be easy but boy was I wrong. Its definetely harder than Secondary school. I wish I could rewind back time and just enjoy my life in secondary school.

But in terms of socially, Poly is great Definitely!

xos

2011-04-26T19:48:00.000+08:00

HAISS I'M GG TO SCREW ALL MY MODULE SIA. Y SO DIFFICULT? )): OMG CRIES.

FML PLS.

2011-04-22T09:57:00.000+08:00

You forgot your friends after you got new ones. Whatever then. HAHA.

2011-04-22T09:45:00.000+08:00

HAI SCHOOL HAS STARTED. AND ITS BEEN AWESUMXZXZXZ. MY CLASSMATES ARE GREATTTT.

I JUST HAVE TO SIT IN CLASS LISTEN TO THE FACI WHILE FACEBOOK-ING AND TWITTER-ING. #LIKEABOSS HAHA I LIKE

OKAY LOVE MY LIFE NAO AND ALSO LOVE MY BABYBOY <3

2011-04-02T22:35:00.000+08:00

LIFE IS A BITCH I AGREE.

After June 7th, life would be heaven i tell ya.

I used to stereotype minah/mat back when I'm in secondary school. But now, I'm friends with them and doing things they're doing. I feel like me whenever i did them. There is actually no difference. We're all humans you see. My mind is starting to grow and mature as time goes by and hopefully it would continue to grow in this direction; Accepting different kind of people.

2011-04-01T22:22:00.000+08:00

I SRSLY FUXKING WISH IM BEAUTIFUL. ): OMG CRIES

2011-03-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

Congrats B div girls this year for making into the floorball finals hehehe xx

2011-03-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

Idk if i should go on 19th March. Surely there will be annoying kids there. Acting asthough they've been partying for so fcuking long.

Tell me if i should go or not? xx

2011-03-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

Life is awesome now. I cant wait for Poly to start. Definitely cant wait for Orientation Programme. Cheers to meeting new people. Heh

My pink baby is awesome Omg i still cant believe its mine. Haha. Wtv then. xx

2011-03-06T23:40:00.000+08:00

Been so long since i blog anytg at this rust old website right? Well hello. Expect more posts from me cause I just got a new laptop. Wooooo! Will think of a name for this baby yeahhh.

Update another time then. xx

2010-12-15T17:29:00.000+08:00

WILL YOU SRSLY STAY BY MY SIDE WHEN OTHERS FAIL TO DO SO?

2010-11-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

Olevels is coming to an end. Halleluyahhhhhhh! I can't fucking wait to be free. I know I have not been putting in enough effort for Olevels, so I'm not expecting good results. So, see you all in Simei ehhhh.

Woke up early to send off my dear uncle and aunt at the Airport. They're going for Hajj pilgrimage. It was such a sad sent off. Still, I'll pray for their safety there. May they have a smooth journey.

Hmm, what should I do on Nov 12? Idk Idk Idk. Most prolly karaoke with clique-o. After that? Tipsy tipsy. Hehehehehe.

I noticed a change in me, and I like it. Very much. Even though It's not a good change. Still, this is what I want. Hahhahahahaahha. Tell me about it.

You make me happy even though youre the main reason for my sadness.

xoxo

2010-11-08T14:34:00.000+08:00

Sheesha on Friday was funny. Haha.

Please stay sugary. Cos I like us the way we are now. Hehehe.

xoxo

2010-11-02T13:24:00.000+08:00

Went for two Halloween event , at two different places, with two different group of people. It was awesome. And the ghosts scare the life out of me. But there was an extra perk on the wee hrs of Sunday morning. Hhhahahaha! Hint : Merlionnnnnnn!

Alright. Back to study mode. I'm screwing every single Olevel ppr. Someone should just kill me lah! Hmmmmm. Tmrw is Hist. Dieee, cnfrm dieeee.

I've been having moodswings these days. Idk whether Its because of you or not. Hmmm. I'm falling in love, again. I'm not. But you seriously put butterflies in my stomach. That goes to show, youre someone that can make me happy. (:

Another update, another time.

2010-11-01T23:20:00.001+08:00

I don't want to fall any deeper. I might as well leave. Cos I'm afraid of falling in love again.

Never want to be sober.

2010-10-27T00:29:00.000+08:00

Idk whether I'm sad or happy. At some point of time, I 'm happy and laughing the whole time. But then comes the time, I feel sad. Hmmm, I'm too used to routine and norms. I was too restricted and now, I'm having a hard time loosing up.

I get excited over you, too fast. I'm not looking for any commitment. So I shouldnt lead you on right? I know I shouldnt. But you put butterflies in my stomach. And I like it. Hahaha.

Please don't assume that I'm talking about you.

I just want to be your priority, like you are to me.

2010-10-12T11:58:00.000+08:00

I NAK RMBT PANJANG I BALIK. MMMMMM):

I've been vomiting from yesterday night. Right up until now. ))))))))))):

Olevels dah nak dkat, mcam mcam kasi problem. Haiyooo.

New aim : Look frigging good in a bikini, by Dec. Woooop ^^

Okay bai, muntah lagi. Hmmmm.

" Please don't break my heart, Please don't leave me lonely.

Please don't break my heart, be my one and only.

Please don't break my heart, stay with me forever.

I belong to you, Please don't break my heart. "

MR, I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS. HAHAHAAHAH!

2010-10-10T17:48:00.000+08:00

MY LIFE HAVE BEEN ON A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER RIDE.

Few changes happen in my life. I'm sure you guys know all about it. It's not as depressing as I thought it would be. It's cos I've been keeping myself busy, with different people in my life. I'm too used to constant rituals that now, I feel lost. Now, I don't feel guided. I kept doing the wrong stuff. I know it's wrong but I like the feel of doing it. I don't regret.

After all that have been said nd done, I now know whos my real friends and who aren't. I feel like a bitch for not treating them better than what they deserve. Yes, i am a bitch ):

I have been going out and not cmg home always. I feel super bad towards my sister and my mum. Olevels is just arnd the corner, heree I am having fun. I miss Dad )':

Omg, I'm crying. I feel like a cry baby. But I just need to cry. I need a shoulder. I want someone I can cry on for one whole night, without asking me , ' whats wrong? ' .

I want to get drunk and never be sober. Cos , I don't feel hurt when I'm drunk.

P.s : Please don't misundrstnd me. I really like you. But you don't seem to take notice of me.

2010-09-08T21:32:00.000+08:00

BARBIE FRIENDS FOREVER!

2010-08-20T17:30:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha. Idk idk idk. Shit is always happening.

Olevels is just around the corner. This is the final lap. I know I can pull through this. I'm left with 2 more month. Just a little bit more push then I'm done. Done with this shit. I don't want to be in the losing end. Not yet. Haha!

FASTING HAS ALREADY STARTED AND IT HAS HELPS ME SO MUCH. THANK ALLAH!

xoxo

2010-08-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

Quick update since laptop's battery is dying. Overall, everything have been good.

Busy with studies and stuff. If you miss me, just find me at library. Cos library will be my second home for the next few weeks till Olevels. Hah! I promise I won't leave my blog dying.

Anyhoo, fireworks was amazing. It's the most beautiful thing ever. I know right.

My Family, friends and of course Shydan is the most beautiful thing ever happen in my life.

18 August, Olevel Mt results. Urgggggggh! Praying hard. But I have a feeling I won't do well, cos I know I didn't give my best. But whats done, is done.

xoxo

2010-07-22T15:09:00.000+08:00

There is no easy way out baby. Fyzah, you know you'll pull through. You must.

xoxo

2010-07-20T21:32:00.000+08:00

FOR ALL I KNOW, I'M SHUTTING YOU OUT OF MY LIFE. I DON'T NEED YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE ME. KNOWING YOU IS SOMETHING I REGRET. CHOOSING YOU WAS A MISTAKE. LOVING YOU WAS A SIN. I HATE MUHD RASSHYDAN BIN SAIDI. THANK YOU!

xoxo

2010-07-18T10:45:00.001+08:00

I don't feel like me. I feel different. But I'm still me. Get it? No, you guys prolly don't.

I'm just going to chuck everything that have been bothering me and focus for Olevels. Get my head in the game. OMG!

Speaking of which, don't I have hmwk to do? Yes, i do. Tons of them. Well, I have to strive on and give it my all.

To you, I love you still. Just that, I can't be together with you.

xoxo

2010-07-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

For what its worth, I love myself.

I often complain and whine about my body. In truth, I'm happy with myself. I'm fat cos I eat too much for the day. I'm thin cos I eat lesser for the day. In other days, I'm just me.

xoxo

2010-07-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

BRAZIL LOST, SO DEAL WITH IT. TEEHEEEEE ^^

I'm gg to be abit inactive cos I'll be busy with Olevels Prep. Decided to deactivate facebook for the mean time. But you know me right? Most probably gg to activate sooner than expected. Hahahaha.

I want to be preety. Can i?

Mwah

xoxo

2010-06-28T18:06:00.000+08:00

I penat seh. Haha.

First day of school wasn't sombad after all. Cos I get to meet my lovely ladies. Eventhough we kept meeting during the June holidays. Haha.

I'm not an England fan. But their game angers me and piss the fcuk out of me. If only Lampard's goal was allowed, the outcome would have been different. The score did not reflect on how the game was played. Every sport players know that our mindset is very important in such critical games. Mm, fuck that Uruguay refereee. They should allow technology to correct human error. True?
Btw, 3months25days to olevels. Can't wait to go out of Loozer Secondary School

xoxo.

2010-06-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Schoool will start in two days time. Okay, not prepared mentally.

xoxo

2010-06-24T02:35:00.000+08:00

Hello again. Germany's game now. Willit be a good one? Should i stay up or sleep now? Bleargh, idk.

Have been mooody this few days. Idk why. I think people piss the shit out of me easily. I get agigated easily. I'm so angry everytime that I feel like I'm turning into voldemort. -.-

xoxo, later.

2010-06-24T00:01:00.000+08:00

Hello again. I don't even know who stills read this boring shit hole blog. Going to delete it anyway.

Idk what I fcuking want. Am i fussy? Am i asking for too much from you? Do i piss you off? Hopefully, i don't. I don'tknow i want to do now. I don't know how to priorities. I don't know whats good or bad for me.

Do you need me as much as I need you?

xoxo

2010-06-22T00:48:00.000+08:00

Heyho.

Just came back from watching ' Karate Kid '. Okay, Fyzah slow! Just watched it now, when the rest of the world watched it light years ago.

It's already the last week of June and I'm still slacking asthough I'm not sitting for my olevels end of this year. Tmrw, I'm going to study, alone. Pinky swear. Omg, Fyzah sucha loser. Confirm gg to do badly for os. But least I could do now is study my ass off starting today.

On the contrary, I'm not satisfied with my holiday. There are still people whom I have not met since donkey years ago. You know, i know. I'm tired of repeating. However, i undrstnd. Everyone is busy with their own life.

Okay, laterrrrrrrr!! xoxo

2010-06-19T13:43:00.000+08:00

Hi.

Theres this part in me that wants to be set free. I want to try out new stuff , do new things , wear new clothes and find new hobbies. I don't want to live in my past. I want to embrace my present and hope for my future. We shouldn't be coop up in our own life when there are lotsa fvuking exciting things out in the world.

Only a handful of people understands this, I know. Whatever it is, thank you for being there to understand. And Shydan, thanks baby for guiding me through my teenage phase. Even though we're one year apart, you know much more stuff than I do. Thanks for being there for my every first time.

___________________________________________________________________

Sentosa was awesome. The company and weather was perfect. Every tiny bit of the outing was perfect. I love all four of you girls. Next week, we'll hit the books and chiong for os.

All the major powers in World cup are such a disappointment. Still, I feel it's going to be Argentina or Netherlands.

Going Taufik Batisah's concert later. And sorry baby , I couldn't dtg for your friend's gathering later. Have fun. And don't drink too much. Love you!

xoxo

2010-06-17T08:59:00.000+08:00

Hi. ( I sound retarded. )

Mmm, Hi. Again.

Dear Ella Eqah Wanny Syaf and Sue,

The seoul garden outing was superb. Thanks for spending your time and money that day.

_______________________________________________________________

Fuck Spain. Waste my precious time watching the match yesterday night. Eventho it was dissapointing, watching it with the girls was awesome.

Naninano, mana kau?

GOING SENTOSA LATER. BUT SHIT, I HAVE NOT START PACKING LUNCH! Hahaahahha. And please Mr Earth, please don't rain. But please, not so hot either.

Oh yeah, Monday night was awesome. The company was goooooood. And the other parts tooo. Love my baby!

So toodles.

xoxo

2010-06-11T22:35:00.000+08:00

Geez.

Life has been great. But it's about to get better next week. The whole week will be jam-packed with outings but of course, studying too. Now, I need to priorities my time between studying and having fun.

Monday, please come faster. I can't fcuking wait for it. Hahahahahahahahaha. You all taktau apaaaa.

Seoul Garden, Sentosa, Haagen Dazs, B&J, Henderson waves. Mmmmmmmmmm, I can't wait.

I love love everyone , esp Shydanbby.

xoxo

2010-06-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET WAS AWESOME. M-18 YKNOW. HAHAHA. YOU ALL BOLEH DAPAT LEPAS KE? HAHAHAHAHA.

So anyway , they didn't ask for IDs so, we got the tickets for the movie. It was awesome, gory
, scary, terrifying and most of all syiok uh! Hahahahahahaha. It was a good catch-up session.

P.s : I forgot to buy nail polish. I want cute and shiny pink nail polish ):

xoxo

2010-06-02T14:27:00.000+08:00

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOURE SO FCUKING RIGHT HUH? THEN WHY AM I WRONG?IS THAT YOU SPEAKING OR YOUR EGO? FUCK!

I don't feel like It's June holiday. Yet. Maybe soon? Yeah.

DON'T KNOW DON'T CARE. ALL I KNOW I'M GOING OUT NOW. HOSP THEN ORCHARD. OKAY BYE LAH.

xoxo

2010-05-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

I promised not to use the laptop till after os. But oops.

"Laut mana yang tidak berombak, bumi mana yang tidak ditimpa hujan. "

I'm going to forget about every fucking thing that is bothering me and do my best for my Malay Olevel this Monday.

I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care.

The best 3 years, Over in a blink.

xoxo

2010-05-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

Carefree after Olevel. Fuck olevel.com siaaaaaaa !

I told you that I'll wait right? And I will. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now I know, how much you mean to me. Love you alot! ( You know who you are )

Did not go shopping alone, cos I was at the hospital. Mmmm, family thing. Tmrw lah okay lah.

Okay lah bye lah!

xoxo

2010-05-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

I know there are other ways to have fun and enjoy. I'm in this age where I would like to try new things. You wouldn't understand, would you? Cos, youve done it and get bored. Thats why Its easy for you to say no to me , if I want to do it. I only have one shot in life. Do you really want me to miss this chance?

Do you, baby?

I really am not influencing anybody. I am also not forcing. I just want to do it. Be it alone.

xoxo

2010-05-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

In life, there will always be ups and downs. I'm now at the lowest.

Away till after Malay os.

P.s : Marina Barrage pictures are uploaded at fb.

xoxo

2010-05-23T19:27:00.000+08:00

This is going to be short. The picnic yesterday was awesome. Pictures will be at Fb asap.

I feel like different. Like a completely different person. It's like theres something in me that I want to set freeeee.

I can't let go of the temptation of smoking, really. I dont have a choice about it. It's my body. If you get what I mean.

xoxo

2010-05-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

Today was awesome, with Shydan. Bought Polaroid camera and dine in at Donut Pantry.

Tmrw is going to the boomzxzxz. Cos of picnic with Cdiv girls 07'.

xoxo

2010-05-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

' LAST SONG ' was awesome. You should catch it.

Friday, I can't wait. Please, come faster. Camera and Swensens.

Saturday, 2009 bdiv gathering. Wooohooooooo! Can't wait either.

Saturday/Sunday, flea at wavehouse. No teman lah. Siapa nak pergi?

Btw, Happy 17th Farain Syggg. Hahaha. Love you byk.

xoxo

2010-05-18T12:09:00.000+08:00

I won't deny that I'm dissapointed.

I won't deny that I'm sad with my life.

P.s : IPMAN2 WAS AWESOME. BEST SHOW, PERIOD.

xoxo

2010-05-17T19:23:00.000+08:00

I want to be preety and tall.

I want to have flawless skin.

xoxo

2010-05-17T18:22:00.001+08:00

DON'T HURT YOURSELF FOR YOUR EGO

2010-05-16T17:37:00.000+08:00

This, by Friday. ( hopefully)

xoxo

2010-05-15T18:37:00.000+08:00

By Hook or by crook, I'm getting this. Pinky promise.

How many times in the day do I want to update my blog? Oh, I dont care.

xoxo

2010-05-15T17:53:00.000+08:00

Yknow what. I'm like addicted to Tumblr already. Maybe permanently, maybe temporary? Who knows right....

Anyway, just click here to view okay? CLICK HERE !

I love my Shydan .

xoxo

2010-05-15T11:14:00.000+08:00

Mommmmy, Happy Birthday! I love you so much. I'll make for you your facebook account soooon.

Will be going out sooon. One whole fcuking day.

And Ella, rambut panjang, wait long long.

P.s : Just made a Tumblr

xoxo

2010-05-14T15:24:00.000+08:00

Truth.

Mid-year examination is nearly over. I'm just down to two final papers. Then I'm freeeeee like a bird, literally. However, it could only mean one thing - Olevel is edging forward.

My gut tells me that I won't do well for Olevel. At this rate I'm going, even a pass is not guaranteed. Mid-year proves to be a huge obstacle for me. Much less, Olevel. I cant even withstand the pressure. I'm such a loser, I know. Here I am complaining and whining, when there are some kids out there whom can't withstand the poverty and hunger they have to go through. I'm sorry I'm in this kind of state. After every paper, all my friends will be happy and satisfied. Good for them, cos I know they studied their backside off. Me ? I don't know. I'm not giving my best when I know should. I only get one chance to prove this to myself that I can do it. Even if I retake, it won't be the same. It's just not.

I'm not a loser, aren't i? If I'm not, why am I whining like this? Okay end this now.

I know I've never talk about this here. I miss my Dad. I know I seem like I've forgotten him. But no, I rmbr him every single minute of my life. If I do well for Olevel, it's for him. If i make the best of my life and make him proud, i'll die a happy girl. I know mum misses him terribly. No words needed for it. I know. I can see behind her eyes that shes sad. Thats why, I'll try not to upset her so much. Cos If she is upset, she'll moan about how much she misses Dad. I've never miss her praying without mentioning Dad's name, mine's and Kakak's.

Enjoy all you want. Someday, you'll have to go tooo. Meet your creator.

xoxo

2010-05-14T14:18:00.001+08:00

I DON'T KNOW . DONT KNOW . DONT KNOW.

2010-05-12T17:07:00.000+08:00

Hello Lovelies.

I am in a good mood today, and decided to bake some cupcakes for my family. Despite it being my first time, I think it turn out quit well. Hahahaha.

Okay, Chemistry paper = can die. Can't be bothered about it. I don't know why. I don't have a good feeling for Mye, Idk why. Mmmm, something feels wrong.

xoxo

2010-05-11T20:21:00.000+08:00

Speak like the cute moron you are. I still love you Shydanbby.

xoxo

2010-05-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

New fake eyelashes.

My mind is in a turmoil. I know, its the wrng time to be in that state. What more with the National Exam edging forward.

xoxo

2010-05-08T18:37:00.000+08:00

I am so happy. I went out alone today. I shopped, studied, eat, alone.

Hahahaha. Did some reflection, as well.

And Thank you Nani for being patient dgn aku.

And Shydan, I love you so much.

Good Luck everyone for Mid Year Exams.

Third post

2010-05-03T12:59:00.000+08:00

I feel so distracted. I don't know why. Mmmm, finished All tests paper regarding Amaths, Emaths. Left with One malay letter-writing and History paper. I dont know the contextual knowledge cos I didn't bring my textbook. Clever right? I know. Come to think of it, I didn't bring any textbooks, just worksheets.

Lady Gaga amputated her leg, for fun! How stupid can she get? I mean, she's strying to start a trend. So does that mean, kids around the world will start cutting their leg to be cool? Omg, I hate her. Kids, please dont do that. It is so not cool.

I havent had my breakfast yet, but cheesecake for breakfast and lunch? Sounds like a bad idea. I should have bought Famous amos cookies on my way here.

It's raining heavily. Hopefully, there wont be any thuderstorm and lightning. \

Stay tune for the fourth fifth sixth post. Hahahaha.

xoxo

2010-05-03T12:19:00.000+08:00

True to my words. Here i am at Starbucks. Sipping to my Mocha Frappe and studying. I'm taking a short break. Aaaaaaaah, just need coffee to perk me up.

Pressure of taking Olevels is taking a toll on me now. I have so little time, but so much to do. I'm worried for my Pure Chemistry. Should I really ditch Chemistry for Olevels? However, t wouldn't be nice to have a F9 or E8 on my Certificate right?

Shall update on my next coffee break okay? Now, going to hit my books.

xoxo

2010-05-03T09:17:00.000+08:00

Today is Monday right? A school holiday. It feels weird to be home. Mm, anyway. Going to bath now and get myself ready. Going to go out alone today. Need to do some soul searching. Hahaha. Oh It's not like that, just going to find some peace time and study at Starbucks later. Only if, i don't feel lazy lah in 5mins time.

Update later.

xoxo

Third post

2010-04-30T16:23:00.001+08:00

Today is one of those days that I feel like updating every few minute. There's alot of things in my mind. I just dont know how I'm going to pour it all out. I'm a girl with lots of talk. I say I want to study at Starbucks@SSC , but I decided not to. Cos I'm lazy. What kind of sick excuse is that? I know right.

xoxo

Second post

2010-04-30T15:55:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like having a Tumblr. Cos some days like this, I just feel like posting short posts every few minutes. Okay after much consideration, I've decided to ....... not go out. Cos, I'm too lazy. Plus, it's alrdy four.

Okay okay. Come to think of it, the sun is going to set soon. Might go after the sun sets. Hahaha. Then it'll be cooler to walk outside. Fickle-minded.

xoxo

2010-04-30T15:14:00.000+08:00

I'm still contemplating whether to go Starbucks later or not? It's just so fcuking hot outside. Please lah, I don't want to melt. I wish there was a Starbuck Delivery hotline. I dont even have to step out of the house to get my favourite drink.

xoxo

2010-04-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

April is coming to an end. May is starting soon. And 31st May will be my first 'O' level paper. Mother tongue.... -.- I really have to start bucking up now. What I'm doing now is not enough. I just know. People are studying twice as hard as me, they are tired twice as much as me. I'm not going to whine here. Cos I know I've not done enough. I don't deserve even to whine about 'O' level.

Shit happens, I know. I can't help it if it happens. I rather have none if they're all going to be fake.

I just wish I could slap your bloody mouth right out of your face.

xoxo

2010-04-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

Miss my fcuken hair.

Today was lousy. The atmosphere around me seem different. Everyone is withdrawn to their ow problem. Mmmm Life. It always get the best of you.

Currently sitting at dining table and eating Cup Noodle with Sister. Planning for the perfect Mother's Day cum Birthday for my Mum. Hahahahaha. Gucci bag. Wooohoooo.

Okay thats it. I want to study right now. I mean after eating.

Baby, get well soooon? Love ya.

xoxo

2010-04-25T20:26:00.000+08:00

I'm fine.

xoxo

2010-04-24T23:37:00.000+08:00

YOU KEEP ON BREAKING MY HEART TIME AFTER TIME. TODAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SPECIAL. BUT YOU RUINED IT, HOWEVER I UNDRSTOOD. I TOOK THE PAIN TO SWALLOW MY ANGER GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. HOW DID YOU TREAT ME? LIKE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU DIDNT EVEN SPARE A MOMENT TO CARE FOR MY FEELING. THATS YOU. ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF AND DOING WHATS FUN FOR YOU, EVEN IT MEANS HURTING ME AGAIN AND AGAIN.

I HATE MYSELF FOR BELIEVING IN YOU. I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU. I JUST HATE HATE HATE MYSELF.

TOO MUCH THINGS HAPPEN IN A DAY. IM SO WEAK EMOTIONALLY. I DONT EVEN HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

IM SORRY NANI FOR SHOWING YOU THE VUNERABLE SIDE OF ME. AND THANKS FOR BEING THERE.

xoxo

2010-04-20T17:00:00.000+08:00

Please don't say you love me and all those piece of shit you used to give me, which I stupidly fall for. Dont tell me fairy tales like happy ever after, cos I just realised it's not true. Every fcuking thing that came out of your mouth for the last fcuking 3+ years. What you did and say to me just now, showed how easy you took me for.

I'm not your back up plan if everything else fails.

2010-04-19T20:50:00.000+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK! I HATE YOU !

I hope you crash , burn and die.

xoxo

2010-04-16T19:11:00.000+08:00

This week was slacky. I'm still happy I've move on to Friday. No more sulking about Monday.

Maybe, mini shopping tmrw? Hopefully yeah.

xoxo

2010-04-15T17:13:00.000+08:00

It's raining. So scary. The thunder sounds are loud!!

Baby, I want you here now.

xoxo

2010-04-12T18:52:00.000+08:00

Fickle minded.

xoxo

2010-04-12T17:20:00.000+08:00

Today was enjoyable. Except for the part where Baby didn't attend schooooool.

I'm so over Monday. Tmrw is Tuesday. I want to get it over with cos I'll be having P.e lesson.

Olevels is coming Olevels is coming Olevels is coming Olevels is coming Olevels is coming.

I feel like eating yoghurt ice-cream ( Fat-free ) and pizza.

xoxo

2010-04-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

Baby is sick. Get well sooon eh? Love you.

Monday, why must you come so fast? I'm so tired of you. I like Friday the best, cos Saturday and Sunday is right after it. But I hate you, Monday. There is still Tuesday, Wenesday, Thursday. Please, i just want to forget you and move on to Friday.

Hahahahahaha. Lame huh? No, it cracks me up.

Okay. Bye!

xoxo

2010-04-11T16:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was fun and awesome. Nani, you should have tag along. But it sokay.

Study @ RP > Banquet CWP > Somerset > FarEastPlaza > Home

Everything about Yesterday was perfect. Okay lie. Nothing is perfect. So, our heavy bag hold us back.

I was filled with frustration when I was in New Look and Forever21. Argggggggggggh! All of the things was nice. Hahaha. Will have a shooping spree sooon!

Clash of The Titans with Baby was awesome tooooooo. I love you lah! * kiss

Update later. Going to study now.

xoxo

2010-04-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

Ditched school.

Backspaced everything, only left with this.

I know this period of time is difficult and tough. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Somewhere somehow, theres going to be something that is worth all this trouble.

xoxo

2010-04-05T16:08:00.003+08:00

I love Shydan and my girls.

xoxo

Second post

2010-04-03T18:47:00.000+08:00

Come back fast !

2010-04-03T18:11:00.000+08:00

SRC pictures are up in Fb.

Sorry for neglecting this blog. I've been busy with people and family, preety much life. Hahaha.

I'm feeling so green now. Hanis got herself a Macbook!!!! I'm so jealous. When I was at the IT show, I saw the VAIO laptop that I want. So slim and gentle. -.- Going to study hard and earn myself that Laptop. Haha.

Okay, 5plus months to Olevels. I can't wait, but at the same time, I'm feeling nervous. Hopefully, I'm prepared by then.

Sports Day, Can't wait!!

P.s : I miss my bbbbbbbby.

xoxo

2010-03-27T07:41:00.000+08:00

I woke up early, and just can't seem to fall asleep again. Besides, Hanis is buying for me breakfast.

Just going to type a few sentence here, and try to get some sleep.

Baby is not awake yet, as usual. Hahahahahaha.

Src today, I can't wait.

P.s : Sometimes, it gets past my guard.

xoxo

2010-03-25T19:04:00.000+08:00

I like this picture. x1000000000

Currently, Watching Cruel Temptation. This is the best part. I'm crying only after 15mins into the show.

Be back after the show. Stay in tune!

Edited ; 2105pm

Just finished Amaths powerpoint hmwk. I'm so tired.

After the short prep talk by Ms Chen, I finally found the reason why and what my purpose was. I was slowly slipping away, but I thought it over, " It's the final lap, I'm going to do my best."

SRC this Saturday, i can't wait. Come faster, please.

Note to self : Maybe all this was meant to happen and I was meant to feel this way again.

xoxo

Second post for today

2010-03-24T17:57:00.001+08:00

I'm slowly losing control of my life. Without them and Shydan, I might probably slip away.

Edited ; 1815pm

I know I'm not progressing ahead. I don't know. I just..just forgot what my purpose was. I forgot what I was supposed to do. Everything.

Hopefully, I'll slowly regain myself.

P.s : I just feel like updating bit by bit. That explains this.

xoxo

2010-03-24T16:15:00.000+08:00

I'm sick. So i stayed home the whole day. Which means, I miss the cca photo-taking, with the Bgirls. What a bad day.

Atleast Bf was there to make it up for me.

Watched online movies > slacked > Macdelivery > Still watching online movies > he went home.

It's so dark outside. Its most probably going to rain. Please just make the weekends come faster! I can't for SRC. And especially this Friday, Seoul Garden with class mates. Hahaha. Idk why, but hopefully it happens.

I've been having dreams about my polaroid camera. It's taking control o my mind. Everywhere I go, whatever thing I do, I keep on thinking about it. Weird, I know.

Note to self : I failed on my first day. Spent 16bucks on food. I want..No, I need the polaroid camera. ):

xoxo

2010-03-23T18:18:00.000+08:00

Going to buy Polariod camera sooon.

Src this week, I really can't wait. Miss those girls, even though we talk every day and every time. Still, I really am excited. So, don't expect any proper update any time soon. Cos you won't get it.

Note to self : Starve myself for polariod camera. Must get it, or I'll die.

Newsflash : I love Shydan, with all my heart.

xoxo

2010-03-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

The girls in the picture, including Nani, Sheqin and Syaf, are the best. Haha.

I can't wait for SRC. Yeahh man! Hahaha.

Update tmrw with Sentosa's picture. Cos Sheqin is sucha lazybum, that I have to upload for her. Hahaha. She knows I'm kind. :D

I want to sleep. Class photo taking tmrw. Going to need all the rest. Don't want to look like a panda.

Till next time
xoxo

2010-03-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

Friday with them was awesome to maximum. Went for Syaf's and Wanny's game at Sengkang. Then to Akydd's chalet.

Took 500+ pictures. But now, I only have arnd 495. Idk where the rest go. Well, i tried the best I could. Feeling sour? Go upload yourself next time. Haha!

Humanities Camp was awesome. A lot of hidden talent were discovered. Haha! Ella should know who.

I should be out partying till dawn with Bby but unfortunately, shit happens..... Shall not elaborate.

Quit your attitude. It ain't going no way.

xoxo

2010-03-08T21:43:00.000+08:00

Lots of overdue pictutes, that I owe a lot people. I'll upload to facebook soon.

Common tests are over, which means O level is drawing nearer. *trembles.

My results are satisfying, except for Chemistry, as usual.

Season is over, but still our spirit are strong and tight. Everything we went through was worth it. And It's the one year where our bond is that strong.We really did cry our hearts out right before our game. I just feel like crying again, every time I think about everything else. There are a lot of people that just don't wish us the best. I'm just disspointed with myself. If only, i tried harder or something...

On the flipxside, March holiday is coming. It's time to mug mug, not forgetting enjoying myself. 16 16 16, baby. Hahaha.

Update soooooooooon, Bye!

xoxo

2010-02-20T22:23:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm back. Unfortunately, not with a proper post.

Life have beeen at the highest peak. I'm enjoying every minute of it. I thank God for everything. This excludes, the part when my mum was admitted and stuff.

Watched baby's game yest. One word : Awesome. Mostly cos of the company. Haha
Studied with the two gundus yesterday, Ella/Nani. Wanny didn't came after her class, cos she was hungry. Bummer. Made a few videos using my lappy. I'll upload soooon.

Went out at 7 and just came back. Cabbed to Mars and cabbed back home. Thanks baby for the kahching.

Two more days to my sweeeeeet sixteeen. Yeayyyyy!
Later,
xoxo

2010-02-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

Other pictures, later.

Np>PlazaSing>TheCathay>Movie>Kfc>Home

Preeeeety mundane routines. But it was a butt-kicking outing. And the movie, " Percy Jackson and the lighting thief" was awesome. Besides for the jaw-dropping characters, the movie was worth it. Logan Lerman will be the next big thing in every girl's list.

Bby is not back yet. Come back sooooooon. I miss you.

Aldo ; my new obsession. Luckily, I'm getting my new wallet and bag next weeeeeeeek. Courtesy of Minji. Or I'll just rob the whole of Aldo nationwide.

xoxo

Later.

2010-02-13T13:27:00.000+08:00

I backspaced everything again. I just can't make up my mind on what I want to post.

V-day with family, will be an emotional one.
Then on Monday, going out with gfs.
Tuesday, I'm not sure.

Baby is at Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia. Booooo me. I still have not buy the things I want to make for Baby. It's still in pending.

It took me nearly an hour to post this. I don't know why. Shit right.

Newsflash : Baby called me. I was about to report a missing person. :D

xoxo,
later.

2010-02-06T13:41:00.000+08:00

Lots of things in my mind. But letting it out won't fix anything.

I still feel sick and weird.

Turns out, I didn't attend the crappy talk session in School just now. Ella, Nivitha said it was boring and not worth our time. Mmm, I guess so too. Cos mostly, it'll focus on the parents and not the students.

I'll update again, before the start of my family's gathering. :D

" There is a thousands things I want to say. But just Three words to show that I Love You. "

Till next time

xoxo

2010-02-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Wouldn't it be great if I could take a breather? For a day or two. Just me and some fancy beaches or hotels.

Missed school today, cos of my leg. Mmmm, I feel handicapped. Still, no avoiding tmrw's crap talk in school with the Almighty Principal -_- They make it compulsory for Sec4EXP and Sec5Ns, but they strongly encouraged the Sec4Ns? Wth. Tell me about it.

Tests have been alright. I've been studying and not just memorising stuffs. I feel that you learnt better and faster if you open up your heart and mind to the subject. Assignments are late, as usual. I can't finish most on time due to my fatigue feeling after game or trg.

I've been having a lot of mood swings lately. I don't know. I'm not in the best of terms with Shydan. We'll argue at the slightest things. We can't talk. I don't why. Cos we'll end up arguing. We really are in the bottom of this roller coaster ride. It had been the most wonderful ride for me. However so, I still feel that we're not the same two human that we once knew. We've grown up and grown out. Whatever it is, I'm still holding on to this tiny little crack in our relationship. Let the chip fall where they may be.

I'm tired. Going to turn in.

xoxo

2010-02-04T22:12:00.000+08:00

Weekends are coming.

My legs are killing me. I can't walk right. I think I walk funny now. Haha. Things have been great, so far.

" Leave me just one part of you to cling to "

Till next time

xoxo